it's hard to feel original, but dealing with the fact that you can't be any more unique that you already are is even harder. i find myself constantly hiding behind my words, but even so, they're only written. for some reason i can't bring myself to think of the right things to say, the right thoughts to think when i'm talking to someone in person. my weapon&defense will always be the words that i write down on my paper, hand, or anything i see. it's almost as if i'd rather be a coward. i prefer to seek comfort in my writing, though they offer no more protection than a fly. i'm scared that people won't understand how i feel. i'm scared that i'll always be the one that feels this way. i'm scared that i'm the only one thinking, wondering, writing about these things. sometimes i just feel utterly alone, even surrounded by the people that know me the best. these days i'm getting closer to the people i didn't think i could've and getting farther away from the people that i'd hang onto with my life. i miss the people that i barely acknowledge the presence of. i'm forgetting the memories of the people i once loved and held dear to my heart. this feeling, i don't know how to heal it. i don't know how to deal with it. i feel like a broken clock.
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