"Come near God and He will come near you"

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:18
there are people who do not cry even in sadness, because they lack enough tears to mourn. there are people who sits and watches something horrible happen in front of them and not do anything about it, becuse they are no longer able. we cry because of a single cut. we cry because our grades aren't good enough, or a scene in a movie really touches us. what about the people who know nothing more than sadness and misery? who crave for the things we'd rather trash?

how has this child of darfur come to such a state. how is it that while we are sinking in obesity, this one child doesn't have enough to cover his ribs? how is it that we're so selfish that we don't care for anyone else other than ourselves? the feeling of pain is too unbalanced in this world. while people are being burnt alive, raped, hacked into pieces, here we are, agonizing over the fact we can't afford a new car. pastor dan said, even if it's painful, show compassion. not out of pride, not out of thoughtlessness, but compassion. but because this storm of genocide is so far away from us, and we cannot feel or hear the thunders, we refuse to act upon it. we don't see it, we can't believe it; whatever happened to believing is seeing? while it's torturous for one to watch this happen right in front of their eyes and not be able to do anything about it, it's even more torturous to spread the word about the genocide but have no response from everyone else. darfur is just one little part of one little country sudan. why is it that the united states, a billion times bigger than it, cannot rid the villagers of pain? they have so much faith in us. they see hope in only us. and yet, we sit here, knowing, realizing, but not doing anything. it's not enough to donate money, send food, supplies, and resources. we're only taking care of the symptoms of the problem. we have to get to the cause of the whole dilemma; the sudanese government. even if we send enough food for 5 million people, it won't stop the janjaweed from wiping out people by the hundreds. why do we fail to see the right thing to do. why.
for the first time in my life today, i've heard someone say, "i want to learn." i was volunteering at the usual good spoon organization, when i asked a student - one of many who are all hispanic-americans - if he wanted a break. he replied, "no, i want to learn. i'm here to learn." aged well over 30, this man had taken 2 hours off his friday to come and learn whatever he could do, because he couldn't afford to pay for such education. it broke my heart to hear these words. here i am, wishing daily, that there was no such thing as education, and that i wasn't expected to do so well, pressured to succeed. and here was a man who was more deserving of this education than i. here was a man who knew and wanted, to overcome the barrier of language in order to win in his already old life. i want to know what i feels like to want what i already have; i want everything taken away from me, and have to work for all of it back. i want to feel this toil that so many other people feel. i want to give up all my wants to God, and try to walk in someone else's shoes. "there should be no poor," the pastor had said. "there isn't supposed to be poor people." so today, i throw away my thoughts of want completely.